Personal Space Monster: A New Breed

I thought I was done with Personal Space Monsters when I graduated college. I'm not done. I'll never be done. It only gets worse from here on out.

Two stories.

She could have said a billion things and I would have been ok. I was mainly looking for a "Oh, I'm sorry" and maybe a step backward or something. But NOOOOOO she chose to continue being an idiot and disturb my aura.

Now I now just to tell people to back the shit off.

SECOND STORY!

I go to the grocery store to stock up on some food. I like using the self check-out when I don't have much stuff because I don't have to talk to people.

Besides the anthrax mask, she looked normal as opposed to my crazy cat lady depiction I did.

I proceeded to scan my stuff. If it were busy I would have hurried a bit, but NOOOOOOO Anthrax used the privilege of free will to come and wait behind me like a weirdo so I took my damn time!

Mind you, as I'm scanning, an employee came over and told her "We have five other self check-out lanes open, Ma'am."

Mrs. Anthrax didn't move.

Obviously she did mind because she got annoyed.

I told it would be faster if she just went to another one. She again, told me to keep scanning and that she didn't want to back her cart out.


........


So I kept scanning. Unsatisfied. And I'm sure Mrs. Anthrax knew I wasn't happy with her answer because I wore quite the puzzled look for the rest of the payment process.

She could have told me "Oh, this is my lucky aisle." "It gives the most coupons." "It spits out $10s when you want cash back." "I like looking at your ass." ANYTHING!! I highly doubt it was because you can't walk backwards whilst guiding a full shopping cart.

Mrs. Anthrax has secrets. That's going to bother me for weeks now.



Moral of the story: If someone is too close and it makes you uncomfortable, flat out tell them because they're dumb and they ain't moving otherwise.

Also: People are weird

Does this happen to regular people?

I don't know how to not make this sound wrong, but feeling something in your pants besides your own butt is not a happy feeling.

The Night Before The Big Blizzard

Dear God, what have I done?

Slowpoke Gamer Reviews: Dishonored

I was iffy about this game because it looked like that one game "Thief" and that one was stupid. But I found a used copy for $4.50 so I took a whack at it.

In real life I am a quiet but friendly person. I like to hold the door for the elderly, do theater activities with the mentally disabled, bring smiles and joy to the lives around me, that whole shindig. I really do.

But in the gaming world, I am able to unleash a much darker side. It is a demon that lurks in the pit of every soul.

In the game "Dishonored" you have a choice. You can be stealthy, a ghost among men, you can bring peace to your city. Or you can kill everything and everyone and bring on a giant rat plague (no joke).

What did I decide to do? Well, I did mention I unleash my dark side...

I decided to play it a second time without killing anyone and just sneaking around. Very different outcome. I also got through each level waaay quicker and that included looting and getting all the special items.

I end with this drawing. It's all I could think of throughout the whole game.

Ood on Deck

Short story first: I was in the neighborhood near the cafe I used to frequent almost every other day. It was to the point I would walk in and barely had to speak to anyone because they knew my order by heart.

My Coffee Lady: "Good morning! What flavor shot in your coffee?"

Me: "Morning! Hazelnut."

Best way to spend a morning. I don't like talking to people before 11am. And I think my coffee lady's name was Lynn.

Well, I walked in and my people were not there. There were actual tables set up for the full dine-in experience instead of couches. The chalkboard menu was gone. My Thanksgiving Day sandwich and my homemade pot roast were gone. My coffee lady who might have been named Lynn was gone. It was some woman that looked just as confused as I did because I stepped up to the counter like I owned the place.

Woman: "Can I help you?"

Me: ".....Can I get a coffee to go and what sort of hell portal did I step through?"

Woman: "Of course! Have you been here before?"

Me: "Yes, many moons ago. It's changed quite a lot. Why do you close at 2pm now instead of 7pm you demons?!"

It was under new management. The best way to describe my feelings of walking into this renovated hellscape was like if you were to wake up to find out your dog turned into a chicken.

So that was my day. My evening went a little something like this:

I know. I see it. TENTACLE*

^ I'm a little angry that this isn't a thing ^

I think the Ood would make terrific sailors.