I was supposed to post this last Wednesday but I had an unexpected car dealer dilemma in which they knocked off my passenger mirror loose somehow in the process of performing an oil change. That is nowhere near where they had to be. At least they replaced it no charge and they had complimentary donuts in the waiting area. Booyah.
So on Wednesday afternoon, I took a trip to the ENT to see why on earth my epiglottis was suddenly inspired by Josh Groban to raise up and stand on my mountain... tongue. Mountain tongue? No, that sounds wrong.
The first thing I was rather shocked at was how nice the doctor was and how she was actually concerned about my problem.
Dr: "Has this feeling occurred before?"
Me: "It comes and goes but only lasts for a few days. Last year when it stuck around, I went to a different ENT and he just told me to drink water and it'll probably go away."
Dr: "Seriously, he said that?"
And that's when I knew I liked this place.
I admit I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. I'm a redhead, meaning I freak out about my skin. I thought I had a brain tumor the first time I got a migraine. Unlike some hypochondriacs, when I fear for my health, there's actually a problem. It's just not as bad as I think it is.
She felt up my throat, checked out my ears and my tonsils where yet again I was informed the large holes in them were normal. She even said my epiglottis looked fine and that they sometimes go up and down like that.
Then adventure time happened!
I know what you're thinking and no, it didn't go up my butt.
Dr: "Everything seems normal, but just to make sure, I want to take a look a little deeper down your throat. To do that, I need to put this camera up your nose."
Me: "...............................Ok."
I've done Nettie Pots before. Actually it was a paper Dixie cup and hot water, but it was the same concept.
And to make sure I wasn't going to feel the camera in my nose or throat, I had to snort a numbing spray.
Why thank you for that quick Google search result, John Malkovich. I hope I never have to study your face to draw you ever again.
Yes, apparently us redheaded folk are mutants. The last time I had a cavity, they had to up my dosage of Novocaine because I felt everything. EVERYTHING.
Just knock me out for it, seriously, it's easier. And it's more fun. What? Did I type that out loud? Anyway.
I snorted the numbing spray and it did nothing so I just took it up the nose.
It felt odd.
I thought about that video where a guy kills a zombified praying mantis and a huge black parasite worm squirms out of its body. It felt like THAT thing was in my throat.
It's called a horse hair worm....
It felt like a horse hair worm.....
And I actually didn't panic. I was surprised. I think I was just fascinated by how weird it felt.
It was one of those sentient cameras.
So the doctor found nothing but she did prescribe me antacids. She said it could be a minor case of acid reflux, especially since I feel it the worst at night. In two weeks, if it's still happening then we'll take it from there. But if it does help, woohoo, case solved.
So far the lump feeling seems to be fading away during the day but it pops up to say hello every now and then. It could be acid reflux. Or it could be that a doctor reassured me it's nothing and reduced my anxiety levels.
We shall see!
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