There were a lot of things that scared me as a kid. Things still scare me now but it's stuff like disease and murderers lurking in the streets at night. Or ghost murderers that hide in your closet and that will come out at 3am slowly sliding a large knife menacingly through the slit in the doorway and have it shine in the moonlight so it reflects directly at your eyes, forcing you to wake up and the last thing you see is a massive black shadow with the knife above your head as the ghost murderer gives you a crooked smile and his eyes flash in time with the sudden lightning and crack of thunder outside.
But enough of that. Let's talk about Large Marge, one of the worst characters ever made.
In "Pee-wee's Big Adventure", I thought I'd just be watching a comedic tale of Pee-wee on the hunt for his lost bike. I should have known there would be a dark side to a Pee-wee Herman movie. There always is.
There is one scene.... THE SCENE... so random, so completely different in tone compared to the rest of the movie, so demonic..... it sent me running for dear life.
I'm talking about the batshit crazy scene where Pee-wee gets picked up by the truck driver called Large Marge.
I hate myself for putting this in twice. Even in crappy cartoon form this thing is wiggin me out.
I know it's just claymation, I should expect that from a Tim Burton movie, but this scene is just nightmare fuel. This scene is the repressed memory that you talk about while hypnotized on a leather couch.
Want to know something real funny but it's totally not?!?!?
The actress who played Large Marge died in 1988 and was buried in Jacksonville, FL.
........................................................
Guess where I used to live?!?!?!?!
Large Marge was laid to rest in a cemetery that was pretty much behind Skippy's friggin house. I can't even count how many times we drove by that place and all this time she was there. No wonder I wanted to leave Florida. I felt it. I knew.
Guaranteed that cemetery is haunted.
Yupp. That's it. I now believe I can be threatened by the headless horseman and I would laugh because nothing compares to seeing that sort of demon lurking around a graveyard.
That's pant-shittin' scary right there.
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