Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I Just Saved A Bunch Of Money On My Flu Shot By Being Allergic To Latex!

So everyone is getting sick where I work. Yesterday a guy sat right next to me and had the nerve to tell me he had a fever of 103 last night. I don't do well with fevers. I didn't want to revisit the experience I had with the great Pork Pox epidemic of 09. (AKA Swine Flu, Bacon Lung, Ham Fever).




^ (The redrawn and upgraded version of the original cartoon) ^
Flu dreams are psychotic.

Anyhoodles.

Needless to say, I floored it straight to the nearest pharmacy when I got out to loot all their Purell and get my flu shot.

For me, getting a flu shot is always difficult.






The second I say "latex allergy" to a doctor or pharmacist, they go into panic mode. It's like when you're adjusting the temperature in the shower and it suddenly gets really hot or really cold. I'm the really hot/cold water and the doctor is the one trying to climb up the wall.

I always hated any science experiment in high school because the gloves we had to use always made my hands itchy. I didn't realize it was because of the latex. No, I learned my body hated latex in a very interesting way in my second year in college.

NO, NOT THAT KIND OF "INTERESTING".    CREEPOS.

I was a theater major so I took a stage makeup class. One day we were working with prosthetic and we were using liquid latex to apply it. I made myself into a bluebird. It came out pretty cool.


I had successfully sculpted a piece and applied it. But you know what they say, behind every silver lining there's a dark cloud.

I woke up the next morning feeling strange......









And I still went to class looking like THAT. Try reading the whiteboard when you have blurry Quasimodo vision.


So in a nutshell about the flu shot, I had to wait an hour to make sure they had the correct vaccine and latex-free tools. They did. I have never been injected with any sort of latex and didn't want to risk going into anaphylactic shock. It doesn't look pleasant. 

And it was actually cheaper than the regular shot so I got a refund. Thank you allergy to latex for giving me some kind of benefit.

THE END.

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