Cthulu Pictures

The WaterFire Providence Facebook page posted a link to Flickr of the August 24th Cthulu Show. There are a couple great ones of the Poop-Turnips. And I also had no idea the Gargoyle was wearing shorts and sneakers.

Also, the Blaaarrargh has teeth.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/waterfire_providence/sets/72157635304046668/

Sneak Peak Chapter Illustration From Ma Booook.

Why yes, I can do not-crappy things when the powers of Motivation, Patience, and Coffee align.

I am insanely satisfied with how this turned out and just had to share it with the world. It took a day and a half, my veins are throbbing out of my hand, but it is worth it.

Plus when I insert it into the book, it's going to be kind of dinky and you won't be able to see the full details. 

Large version of drawing and some info on my slowly upcoming novel, "The Queen's Descent" after the jump. Warning: Minor spoilers.

And don't you fear, more Crappy Cartoon Stories will arrive. I just need to keep that coffee flowing. By flowing I mean into my mouth.

It's Sparkling Cider By The Way.

Made of 100% carbonated apples!

Le Squee

Just listened to Night Vale's podcast titled "The Phone Call". Finally heard perfect Carlos's voice. I hope the man in the tan suit didn't mess up his hair!


If you're another soul wondering "What the crap is Night Vale and why do I keep hearing about it on the internet?!" just as I once was,

Well Google it. 






Because they have a floating cat and a clock tower that is actually invisible and teleports constantly.

Cthulhu Went Up To Providence Looking For A Ballerina To Eat

I saw some weird shit and a gargoyle wanted me. I without a doubt fried the coke though. (Not to be confused with Nuking the fridge or jumping the shark)

I Discovered Night Vale

Now drink to forget you saw this.

That Time There Was A Girl In The Men's Room At Friendly's

So we went to Friendly's over the weekend and Skippy had a strange moment.

Usually I know I'm in a men's bathroom by one slight difference.

I was judging her ensemble more than her choice of going into a men's bathroom. She looked like an awkward monarch butterfly.

I don't know what her story was, but the next thing we know she rushes out the door and Skippy sees her sprinting passed the windows. Very strange.

Moral of the story: If you make an awkward mistake, don't freak out if someone sees you. It just makes it more awkward for everyone. And chances are no one gives a crap. Unless they're 13-16 year old girls. Then they're judging you. They judge everything.

This Post About Beastly Kingdom Gets The Novel Award

Or maybe I should title it:

Imagine Dragons! (not the band though)


There's a blog called Little Miss Disney and some pretty cool stuff is posted on it Like how there's a secret hotel room in Cinderella's Castle.

And I was asked to do some Disney art so I drew up a few things this morning:

Little Miss Disney, feel free to post any of these pictures on your blog.

And now I'm thinking about dunking a turkey leg in Dole Whip.

And have you ever wondered why there's a dragon on the Animal Kingdom logo but no dragons in the park?? Well I recently found out that there were different plans for where Camp Minnie-Mickey is.

Maybe Little Miss Disney will feature something and it'll be awesome and I'll add a link to this post but for right now I'm giving you my crappy cartoon version of the story.

After the jump.

You Meet Some Weird People At The Laundromat.

EXPOSITION!

So the place I live at has a laundry facility and they have a PRINTER for a dryer. As in it was sent from hell and doesn't like doing it's one job God gracefully bestowed upon it so it could walk this earth.

This dryer is worse than what I had to put up with in college and that is saying things...

While I'm glad the washer doesn't go all Jumanji and pee on the floor, the dryer is the opposite side of the coin. It has only two results for me.....

In the CLICK of the Night.....

Yes. I have a huge lamp on my table yet I reach for my phone. Because it was closer and I thought something was going to grab my wrist. Last thing I want is to sport a Jamie Lannister.

My thoughts: "What am I looking at right now?"

I was really hoping for the Boogie Man sneaking in to use the bathroom or something. I think that face is worse.

A Song Of Wine And Beer

"I am not a Wino! I can still count on one hand how many times I have drank a bottle of wine.... wait."

-said me.

Here's a fairly recent cartoon that goes along with the theme.

At the end of each episode, Skippy always says "Just wait til it gets crazy!"

I don't know how Martin does it. Does he not love any of his characters?!

Now you know where I got my banner from.

PS My pen shipped. It should be here by Tuesday.

PPS Quick story: I learned the hard way that I should stop using the community laundry room in our complex. If you put it on anything other than high ass-heat, it doesn't do anything. Because of the high ass-heat, my jeans smelled a little funny and I think they got semi burnt. I shoved a dryer sheet in each pocket to quell the stench.

Yesterday I used it for some towels and random clothing, not too much. Three hours in the dryer later, everything was still dripping.

So I had to go to the laundromat this morning to rewash my clothes. And that is how I finally started reading Game of Thrones. I've seen the show. I know what happens. But I wanted the full experience. Plus the descriptions are quite lovely.

More on my laundromat experience next week about a poor lady in pink sweatpants.

I Am Penless

I wonder how many people saw that as a dirty word.

Not long ago I accidentally popped open my tablet pen. There's a little green chip that was sticking out and I guess I scratched it or knocked it just right because now my pen is going CRAaAAaaaAAaaAaAaaaZaAaAaAaAaaY!

It might also be the fact I put it in my mouth when I move my laptop to a different room.

So I'll be ordering a new one soon. Now I can finally get the correct pen for it considering the one it came with kind of has a nib jammed inside it. Why? Well.... I didn't know the tips wore out so fast so I waited til it was a stub. One person on Deviantart said "Oh just hold a needle over a flame then stick it into the nib. It'll soften and come right out.

LIES. Nothing softened and I ended up burning my finger. So for the last year I've been using the pen from an older tablet.

Very sorry to say there won't be any new MS Paint drawings for the time being so I'll just be transferring some older stuff to here. Bummer too, because I wanted to depict how Skippy and I play Lord of the Rings: War In The North.



Here's some stuff-

 My college had pointy furniture that was plotting to kill me. I couldn't feel my pinky for hours.

Not pictured: the bouncy house that was outside.

So I was talking to a friend of mine. He wasn't responding so I took a shower. It was perfect timing.

This has some stories behind it.

In Florida, it was essential to have pest control come out every so often to bait traps and inspect for termites. Yes, traps. In our first year at the house, we had rat poop in our attic and a carcass was found when they were whacking around inside the A/C unit. Which we had to replace because they blew the whole thing.

That is what she said.

This guy was from a legit company to do an inspection. He found nothing and went along his merry way. Hell, I think he even rolled in our garbage cans from off the street.

Still! When you come to the door all sweaty-hog-like holding a pitchfork, IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD! I am a very paranoid person with an overactive imagination!

I think this was the same guy that accidentally saw my mom sunbathing naked in the backyard.

Skippy just put on "Cabin In The Woods"

And there's only one way I'll get through it.

Good thing I have vodka and pineapple.

Keep ya posted for updates throughout the movie!

7:56PM: MY THOUGHTS SO FAR:
Whodafack are the business men and wasn't that guy in something?

My predictions:
Red Head with no undies: Going to die. Possibilites of sex: 50%
Blonde: Sex. Maybe a sword through her chest.
Thor: I hope he doesn't die. He's going to shank someone and save the day for sure. I'll do a shot if he hits something with a hammer.
Bong Coffee Cup Guy: 1)That's crafty. 2) He is going to see spooky things, may have sex with the undy ginger and then come to a gruesome end.

Also:

"Honey toes"

Open Up A Can Of Dole Whip-Ass!

Here's a picture I found on google because nowadays people like pictures more than they do words. At least that's how I am. 

This is what I'm talking about in this post.

http://echoluxe.wordpress.com/

So you know how Disney makes this thing called a "Dole whip" people obsess over? I guess it's like Horde vs. Alliance. I'm on the turkey leg Blood Elf side of the war. 

Anyfreakinway,

I got a better pineappley fandango idea for ya rather than that con-flabbit soft serve ice cream and that is the Stoli Doli drink.

The Stoli Doli is pineapple infused vodka and I've already had a lot of it and I'm surprised my typing is this exquisite. But for those of you who don't have the patience to infuse your vodka just do this:

Step 1: Stoli.

Step 2: Dole Pineapple Juice from a can.

Step 3: Garnish with a pineapple ring.

Step 4: ????

Step 5: Deliciousness.

Optional Step: Ice.

I didn't include measurements because I'm bad at math. You just pick out your own pineapple:booze ratio. That's why God invented "Guess and check".

I'll end it with these.

Cups suck. This was a guy that was at my college. I code named him "Johnny Hammersticks."

Also if you haven't seen it: Dan Deacon & Liam Lynch - Drinking Out of Cups

I forgot I was in my own house where I do not have cats. See, Garfield does this thing where he poops in the bathtub.

Cartoon Me has better moves than Real Life Me.

There are drawings at the end, I swear.

So I saw "The Conjuring"

Not as scary as I thought and I absolutely hate scary movies. I like animated movies more. They tend to have more creative stories and I enjoy the art behind them too. I mean, I was blown away by how they created the evil face in the sky for "ParaNorman". 

I mean, "The Conjuring" wasn't a bad movie. To me, it had a nice build up (slow at times), and reached the peak halfway through and I just stopped caring.

My experience after the jump because, you know, spoilers.

Oh Mah Gadz It's August!

Brace yourselves, ragweed is coming.

Holy cheese on toast, I haven't posted in so long and by that I mean a week! Shame on me for being lazy and dealing with personal needs and spending my nights playing Xbox. 

Here's a depiction of how weird my boyfriend can be. 

And a reason as to why he's "beep booping" on this side of blog town....