Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Personal Space Monster: A New Breed

I thought I was done with Personal Space Monsters when I graduated college. I'm not done. I'll never be done. It only gets worse from here on out.

Two stories.











She could have said a billion things and I would have been ok. I was mainly looking for a "Oh, I'm sorry" and maybe a step backward or something. But NOOOOOO she chose to continue being an idiot and disturb my aura.

Now I now just to tell people to back the shit off.



SECOND STORY!


I go to the grocery store to stock up on some food. I like using the self check-out when I don't have much stuff because I don't have to talk to people.









Besides the anthrax mask, she looked normal as opposed to my crazy cat lady depiction I did.

I proceeded to scan my stuff. If it were busy I would have hurried a bit, but NOOOOOOO Anthrax used the privilege of free will to come and wait behind me like a weirdo so I took my damn time!

Mind you, as I'm scanning, an employee came over and told her "We have five other self check-out lanes open, Ma'am."

Mrs. Anthrax didn't move.





Obviously she did mind because she got annoyed.

I told it would be faster if she just went to another one. She again, told me to keep scanning and that she didn't want to back her cart out.


........


So I kept scanning. Unsatisfied. And I'm sure Mrs. Anthrax knew I wasn't happy with her answer because I wore quite the puzzled look for the rest of the payment process.

She could have told me "Oh, this is my lucky aisle." "It gives the most coupons." "It spits out $10s when you want cash back." "I like looking at your ass." ANYTHING!! I highly doubt it was because you can't walk backwards whilst guiding a full shopping cart.

Mrs. Anthrax has secrets. That's going to bother me for weeks now.



Moral of the story: If someone is too close and it makes you uncomfortable, flat out tell them because they're dumb and they ain't moving otherwise.

Also: People are weird

Monday, February 2, 2015

Does this happen to regular people?









I don't know how to not make this sound wrong, but feeling something in your pants besides your own butt is not a happy feeling.