Crappy Cartoon Theatre By Jirr Burns

I binge watched Cheers one afternoon.

Hey look at that, a pelican must've taken my jacket.

*Record scratch*

Ok,  Beauty and the beast parody over. Let's get for realsies here.

I knew this was happening. I knew months ago Skippy would be in Hawaii for a port visit so of course I booked a flight.... based off of a vague schedule we were told back in, like, January.

It wasn't until maybe a week before going when I learned the exact day they were pulling in. I was kicking myself for it. The other navy wives were posting videos of the ship pulling in, pictures of them reuniting with their husbands, and I was, sitting at home and not flying out until two days later.

The anxiety levels were through the roof. I just wanted to be there. The moment I saw the picture of the ship in port, I barely ate, I couldn't stand still so I just did laundry and cleaned the house.

But in a way, it worked out I didn't get there the day the ship did because Skippy was working his ass off; I wouldn't have got to see him anyway.

The next night, I was running on less than 2 hours of sleep and that was after popping TWO melatonin pills. Wide awake at 4am, I decided that while I was very good at waiting for things, I was absolutely done waiting for this.

I had to go.

I waited, watched the sun rise, unsure if I was going to throw up or crap my pants, and I waited to reach that 24 hour mark before my actual flights so I wouldn't have to pay a fee. As soon as I got the text saying check-in was available, I called them.

I think I held it together pretty well.

The animals were taken care of, I had no clue what I'd do about hotel accommodations for the night, but I'd figure it out when I would get there. What mattered was I was on my way. In 8 hours, I'd see Skippy.

I managed to get down a fruit parfait and some ginger candies at the airport, but my stomach was in knots the whole trip. I got maybe 20 minutes of sleep. Fortunately, I had a good seat where I could get up without annoying anyone to use the bathroom. The belly dragon was not happy and the weird sesame/pretzel snack bag they gave us didn't appease it at all. It really unleashed it's anxious wrath when the island came into view.

Skippy had told me earlier that day he was getting a hotel. He was off the ship for the night. When we finally landed, I texted him back,

Me: Get a hotel?
Skippy: Yes!
Me: Room to yourself?
Skippy: Yes?
Me: Good, because I need a place to stay tonight.
Skippy: ?
Me: I'm here.
Skippy: YAY!!!!!

A fellow navy wife had rented a car and gave me a ride into the city. I was on the verge of exploding the whole ride there, either in vocal form or out my butt, I wasn't sure. It felt it was taking an eternity to get through traffic and it felt even longer when my friend tried to find street parking. I think she realized I was just about ready to fling myself into the road so she pulled up to the hotel entrance, let me out, and continued her search. 

The reunion was.... pretty much what I expected it to be.

I dropped everything and bear-hugged him and did not let go. I didn't want to ever let go.

I did not breathe. Time felt like a slingshot just then- those seven months that we were apart, each month seemed to stretch longer and longer. In that moment it hit me all at once. Seven months. Alone. All those sleepless night, watching the sunrise, exploring places alone, the movies I saw alone- so much time had passed but there we were. It was real.

I kept telling myself that as I inhaled and that dragon in my gut faded. It was real.

Real.
Real. 
Real.

I hadn't felt that wonderful in a long time.

.....

And then we went out drinking where I tried not to fall asleep standing up because I was technically up for 24 hours straight.

He had to return to the ship a few days later but "goodbye" was so much easier. Because the next wait wasn't seven goddamn months! 

Pretty soon I won't have to worry about going out and being judged by the locals. It's much better when you have another weirdo with you. When there are two weirdos having more fun than everyone else around them, people stop judging and start to envy you.

Plus I really need someone to stop me from swearing at the charity workers. They really are pushy bastards around here.

Bonus drawing:

I've seen a woman think a mallard duck was a frog, I wouldn't be shocked if someone was pissed that a smoked turkey leg wasn't vegan.