Drunkily Drawn Fair Story

In which I drew stuff after having like a six pack. I think they were Magic Hat's. I was in it for the beer fortunes. They're much more accurate than fortune cookies. Like one time I was procrastinating on my book, cracked one open and the bottom of the cap said "Sharpen that pencil and go write more!"

Story after the jump.

I Survived The Spongebob Circus

Back story: I grew up loving Cirque du Soleil so when I found out I could take trapeze lessons down the road from where my house was, I was gasming with delight. Then I realized I am terrified of heights and have the arms of a stick bug sooooo yeah.

Well one fine weekend, our instructor told us there was a circus coming to town.

............I wouldn't call this a fun time had by all but more like an exposure.

I'll admit in past cartoons I exaggerate life events to appease all.... maybe twelve of my followers. BUT THIS TIME I AM FOR SERIOUS! This ain't no "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter". What you are about to see is 100% true. Such a strange, dirty night cannot be made up. I stepped into the Twilight Zone and I needed a shower.

Now go forth and witness what oddities I gazed upon that night.

And then the Cirque music kicked in....

Never call them gypsies. One dude learned the hard way. I don't know what the hard way was because he shudders just thinking about it.

"Teleboobies! Clockwise! Counterclockwise!!" (Simpsons reference).

I will say this about the circus: each family member had their own talent and they were very good at it. Except the guy who played the clown. He was just sad to watch. 

We were also wondering as we watched Knife-head up there, "When do you discover you can do such a things as... I don't, balance a friggin SWORD on your head?!"

Then this happened. When a circus advertises "Expect the Unexpected!", this troupe takes the whole friggin cake. It wins.

DUMPSTER SPONGEBOB.

Don't believe it? LOOK AT IT!!!!

Photo taken by Keith C. Langill.

Thank god he didn't stick around too long. He just passed out balloons to the kids and took pictures (for a small fee) and then he pranced through the curtain never to be seen again.

He still lingers in my nightmares though. *Jibblies*

Anyway!

Yeah. They really did. And we were distracted....

We were also the only ones making any noise. Everyone knew who we were.

Ok, so he didn't say it to their faces. Just loud enough to where they could hear him. But this photo really happened.

Photo also taken by Keith C. Langill.

He used to be an adventurer like you, but then he took my face to the knee!

State of the Sky July 23

So I walk out of the grocery store and this appeared out of the wild blue.

And I'm like:

How A Tranny And Other Things Shaped My Childhood

Recently I found out one of my favorite movies/stage shows, "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" is coming to Broadway in Spring 2014 and Neil Patrick Harris is playing the lead.

If you have no idea WTF I'm talking about, you need to be exposed right now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tgy9ODhwNI

I hope you enjoyed that. Now imagine Neil Patrick Harris is heels and that blonde wig. Doesn't that make you happy? Because it should.

Here's some more after the jump:

You know the thing....

That weird nubbin' that everyone has on there foot?

Don't smack it on anything. I just did on the desk. It sucked.

When really I'm just like-

I'm really not that flexible.