Pee-Wee Herman Is A Man Now.

"Agayn" = British accent

a>

LONGEST. MAKE OUT. EVER.

A*. I know. This is why it's called "Crappy" Cartoon Theatre because our editors (me), are shitty at their job sometimes.

Symbolic weenie train, gasm fireworks, and.... mud wrestling?! Seriously, who the heck directed this?!!?

Not shown: Gasm ocean waves crashing.

Inception "scarred for life, wtf did I just watch?!" eyeballs look a bit like boobs.

I can't look at that movie the same way ever again. I mean, almost everything Pee-Wee does is so out of character! Suddenly he lives on a farm and grows scientifically modified plants and invents cocktail weenies?! Where did his bike go?! Did the bank foreclose his playhouse and he had to move out to the sticks?! Since Pee-Wee achieved his man card with a circus girl, that only leads me to believe Chairy is at a strip club and old men are sitting in her while they receive private lap dances.

Here's what I think happened: Someone wrote this script and the main character was not Pee-Wee Herman. But then Hollywood wanted money so they hired Paul Reubens to just do his thing. Seriously, replace Pee-Wee with anyone. Chris Pine. No wait, he was still in middle school when this was made. Dana Carvey- no wait. He did Wayne's World.

I got it- Neil Patrick Harris. We put him in a time machine and make him go back and replace Pee-Wee. Tell me Barney Stinson on a trapeze doesn't make you happy. I dare ya!

Maybe then the two minute make out scene wouldn't make me want to spoon out my eyes and replace them with Cadbury eggs.